You … are … Rather Dashing, servant of the King of Sidonia. For a time you have been sent on business in a somewhat uncouth place known as the Strait of Dire. It is not a fun job but you willingly endure because you have the best King by far of any around.
Even so, you end up living there longer than expected and there comes a time when someone asks you to play Scabbers and you say “No, Sidonians don’t play Scabbers because our laws don’t allow us to pick at scabs and because, really, they just can’t heal that way.” Well, that unfortunately sets off a firestorm of accusations, not the least of which being “Scabaphobe!” and eventually you become imprisoned and let me tell you they have rough sentencing for Sidonians in Dire. You could possibly get the death sentence!
Now you know that ultimately it will be up to your king whether you live or die, but there’s also a crazy law in Dire where you are allowed to have a say in who the arbiter is for your case.
Now for your particular trial there are only two viable options. There are conflicting opinions on them but generally speaking, by Sidonians standards, they both stink out the wazoo. In fact, their reputations are such that you kind of hate to pick either of them. However, you’ve learned that one seems to be the more calculating and evil of the two. With her you’re almost sure to get the hung from your email server until dead penalty. And then she might string up your friends by Ethernet cable if she’s feeling particularly nasty. The other arbiter is less consistent. Some like him, some hate him. It sort of depends on his temperament of the day. You might get off with a huge warning or maybe, quite possibly, the death sentence but whatever it is it’s going to be big deal. Ask anybody.
As an added stress, some people are telling you that as soon as you pick one, there are those who will say you’re pals with the arbiter you pick. Of course, you don’t have to pick one. It could be picked for you.
So, Rather Dashing, the choice is yours. What do you do?