Unfortunately not many on Twitter and at places such as Salon.com are requesting some Franco with their Big Mac these days. In fact, they appear to be burning him alive inside his McDonald’s in a sacrificial pyre to the indignant wholefoods gods. His light hearted op-ed has certainly sparked some dark hearted attacks.

You can read it here. Franco Op Ed

Not only did Franco incidentally speak contrary to conventional vitriolic tirades against low priced non organic foodstuffs (just imagine if he had relayed a good experience inside a walmart) but he, perhaps unwittingly, made known the dirty little secret that Mcdonald workers are paid appropriately for the level of skill needed for the work.

In other words James Franco, in order to realign himself with mainstream liberal thinking, is being asked/bullied into recanting his very own memories so as to further current societal causes. So for the sake of adhering to the recommended mainstream talking points, I suggest that Franco retract his article and replace it with changes as follows:

1. Include a villainous shift manager who spits on burgers and suppresses any interest in personal achievement. Also if he could keep an employee or two chained in the supply closet that would be great.
2. Include a mentally ill wife and 3 to 4 children depending on a McDonald’s income.
3. Add that because of a diet consisting of processed high cholesterol food force fed by the evil shift manager, cancer, diabetes, and cerebral palsy were developed.
4. Maybe a short sentence about mcdonalds indirectly contributing to global temperatures rising due to cow farts.

I am confident that if these small changes could be made to your past then Twitter (aka the new Spanish Inquisition) could be appeased well enough for now. In the future I recommend posting all thoughts and memories on Twitter before thinking or remembering them lest further firestorms singe you.

This has been a simple suggestion from a fellow tweeter which you must obey or forfeit all fame and selfworth. Thank you.

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